The Epic Guide to Dating Yourself (and why you should!)

Hello lovelies!  How is your dating life going these days?  And by ‘dating life’ I’m not referring to you and certain handsome dude, I’m talking about you and…YOU!  If you have no idea what I’m talking about, then stick around because today I’m sharing my epic guide to dating yourself and why every girl should!   

Love yourself enough to DATE yourself! Sharing why you should and a bunch of ideas for how & what to do to have the best time with YOU!Right now, I’m not in a relationship and I’m not running around trying to date anyone because I’m actively choosing to just be me for awhile.

And you know what…I’m loving life right now!  No drama, no compromising, no unfulfilled expectations, etc.

Do I want to spend the rest of my life single…heck no! But for right now, it’s exactly what I want and I’m soaking it up and enjoying every minute of it!

Love yourself enough to DATE yourself! Sharing why you should and a bunch of ideas for how & what to do to have the best time with YOU!

So, I have to ask…when was the last time you took yourself out on a date with just yourself?  I’m betting most of you are saying never or the last time you were single.  Am I right?

Dating yourself is one of the best ways to make yourself feel special and it doesn’t have to be limited to just the single ladies!  Even those of you happily coupled up will benefit from taking yourself on, what I like to call, a ME-DATE from time to time.

Why date yourself?

If this is a new idea for you, you might be asking ‘why in the world would I want to go on a date with myself?!’.  I get it…it may seem a little weird at first, but there’s a reason behind why this is a good thing.

By taking yourself on a date, you’re telling yourself that you’re worth being treated well.  It gives you the opportunity to feel special and we all deserve that!

A couple of months after I got divorced, I remember waking up one morning and realizing that I didn’t know who I was at that moment. I knew I wasn’t the person I was before I got married and I definitely wasn’t the person I was while I was married, so who the heck was I right then?  

Well…that’s exactly what I wanted to find out!  I didn’t freak out at this realization, it was more of a ‘hmm…that’s interesting’ moment.  But, I did get excited.  The prospect of just being me and doing what I wanted, when I wanted, in the process of getting back to ‘me’ was very exciting!!

Love yourself enough to DATE yourself! Sharing why you should and a bunch of ideas for how & what to do to have the best time with YOU!

I threw myself into hobbies and classes and new fitness routines. I traveled with friends and even did a few quick solo trips.  I learned new skills, made new friends, and discovered all kinds of cool things about myself (mainly that it was a lot of fun to hang out with me!).

I was single for about 18 months before I started dating my ex-boyfriend (I had few random dates in the couple of months before I met him, so he wasn’t the first guy I went out with post-divorce!).  He and I dated for about 4-1/2 years before I ended it over a year ago.  But, when we first started dating, I wasn’t floundering looking for meaning in my life, or trying to fill a void.  I started dating him simply because I liked him and we had a lot of fun together.

It also gave me the courage to end things when I knew it wasn’t the right relationship for me.  Instead of staying because I was afraid to be on my own, I knew from past experience that I would be just fine and it would be better than trying to give life to something that wasn’t there anymore.

So…now that I’m single, dating myself is something I love to do from time to time because hey…why sit around waiting on a man to take me out when I’m perfectly capable of taking myself out!!  Even in my last relationship, I’d insist on time for myself every now and then.  It’s so crucial for knowing yourself and knowing your own worth!

What does it mean to ‘date yourself’?

To put it simply, the idea is to treat yourself like someone you’ve just started dating would treat you!

The easiest way to do this is to imagine the guy of your dreams asking you out for a date (if you’re in a relationship, you can still play along here!).  Mentally jot down how he would treat you on this date (and since it’s your dream guy and your dream date, he would obviously treat you like a princess!).  This is exactly how you should treat yourself on your me-date! Think of how dream guy would make you feel by treating you so awesomely – that’s how YOU should feel after your me-date!

Personally, I feel solo dating is for everyone!  Just because you’re dating someone doesn’t mean that you won’t benefit from dating yourself!  And, if you’re single, it gives you a chance to tell yourself you’re freaking awesome!

So, how to do I do this solo dating thing?

Love yourself enough to DATE yourself! Sharing why you should and a bunch of ideas for how & what to do to have the best time with YOU!

These are just suggestions!  There really are no rules here other than being kind to yourself and do something that makes you feel special (because you ARE!).

  • Treat it like a real date…it is!
  • Wear something you would wear on a date with your dream guy (real or imagined)
  • If you like to feel ‘pretty’, consider doing your hair, makeup, and nails
  • Don’t cancel on yourself!  You’d be ticked if a guy canceled on you last minute, so don’t cancel on yourself either!
  • Buy yourself some flowers – there’s something extra nice about looking at some beautiful flowers knowing you did that for yourself
  • Say nice things to yourself – you wouldn’t say mean things to a date, would you?  So…don’t say it to yourself!
  • Write yourself a love letter in your journal – you don’t have to make it mushy, just remind yourself why you’re awesome or just reflect back on your me-date and say how it made you feel and why you deserved such an awesome day/evening out!

In other words, put a little effort into it because you’re worth it!  It’ll also make it feel more special than just throwing on your yoga pants, flip flops, and a baseball hat because you haven’t washed your hair in 3 days.

A few ideas for your me-date
  •  A night in   Grab your favorite takeout and watch a good movie…and buy yourself some flowers first!
  •  Go to a movie   Cliched, but hey…it’s a good one!  if you’re single, no need to stay home and not go to a movie you’re dying to see!  If you’re not single, but your guy isn’t into rom-coms, for example, you don’t have to torture him for 2 hours, just take yourself out and enjoy the movie on a me-date.
  •  Go explore   Hop in your car and just start driving and see what you find :) (obviously don’t do this in the middle of the night or on an almost empty tank of gas!).  I live near Litchfield County, Connecticut, which is one of the most beautiful areas in the state.  When you think quintessential New England/Connecticut…Litchfield County is where it’s at.  I LOVE to hop in the car, with no destination in mind and find a cute, charming town to park and explore.  Take a camera and document your adventures!
  •  Spa time   You can either save some cash and do an at home spa day, or treat yourself right and book some time for a massage, facial, or mani/pedi at a soothing, relaxing day spa!
  •  Cook yourself a nice meal  (like you would for a hot guy coming over, only YOU’RE the hottie in this scene!) Now for me, this would never make my me-date list. I don’t really enjoy cooking…love to bake…but cooking?  Nah…I’d rather treat myself to my favorite take out, but since I do that often enough, I don’t really consider this a me-date anymore!  But, if you love to cook, or you’ve been wanting to try an amazing recipe you found on Pinterest…do it!! (and enjoy the leftovers the next night!)
  •  Take a Class   This might not sound like a ‘date’, but if you’ve always wanted to learn to paint, then sign up for a painting class!  Check  your local continuing ed for lots of options from writing, to art, to pottery making, and even foreign language studies!
  •  Plan a creative night   Even if you’re not crafty, in fact, especially if you’re not crafty, this is a great way to do something different and have a lot of fun!  Do some modern art on a piece of canvas, treat yourself to some adult coloring books and go to town (I just bought a few coloring books for adults at Barnes & Noble and can’t wait to plan an afternoon of fun with them!).
  •  Go to the city!  If you have a city nearby that you don’t get to visit that often, plan an afternoon and go explore, grab an ice cream, shop, people watch, take photos, etc.  I live about an hour north of New York City and this is one that I would like to do more often, but I just never think to plan an afternoon in the city (so, I’m making that happen this summer!).

Love yourself enough to DATE yourself! Sharing why you should and a bunch of ideas for how & what to do to have the best time with YOU!

A few extra tips to take your me-dates to the next level…
  • Doing something completely new, that you’ve never done before
  • Doing something that scares you!
  • Taking an afternoon off work to go do something fun

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Even though I regularly do little things like this on my own, this summer, I’m going to make an even greater effort to do more me-dates, only this time,  I’m going to document it on Instagram to share the love and inspire you guys (and so you can keep track on me!).  So be sure to follow me to check out my me-date adventures!

If you want to play along (and you totally should!)use the hashtag,   #mydatewithme  and we can cheer each other on!

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What do you think, girls? Do you date yourself? If yes, what do you love to do on your me-dates? If not, would you consider it? I’d love to hear your thoughts, so leave me a comment below!

Comments

    • 2

      says

      Yay! Here’s to more me-dates! :) I normally don’t put much thought in it, I just go do my thing, but now, writing this post got me so excited about, I’m blocking off time in my calendar every week for an official ‘me-date’!! Definitely go do your thing, Naomi!!

  1. 3

    Paige says

    I love this post! I think we often forget that loving yourself leads to better relationships down the road. Enjoy that time dating and being with yourself!
    Paige

    • 4

      says

      Thanks Paige!! Exactly! If we don’t take care of ourselves, we won’t be in the best position to be with others, or to care for others. It’s like on the airplane, we have to put the gas mask on ourselves first before assisting others. Hope you get some me-dates in this summer! :)

  2. 5

    says

    My favorite me date is a glass (or three) of a GOOD wine and Netflix. There is something about losing myself in the Braverman family or with the crazy gals in OITNB that helps me escape daily stresses. During the school year, a have a group of three girlfriends and we love to go out for a Moms lunch (complete with cocktails). It’s such a great way to rejuvenate. Cheers!

    • 6

      says

      OITNB is my definitely my choice for a me-date right now, lol! I’ve only been able to watch a few here and there, so I’m looking forward to tomorrow night where it’ll be me, my favorite Japanese takeout, my couch, and the girls in orange (or khaki it seems these days!). You mom’s lunch sounds FAB!! A little girl time with kindred spirits is always a great way to rejuvenate! :)

  3. 7

    says

    Really awesome post, Vicky! I love it and it reminds me of some Sex and the City episodes. Very empowering. Love your ideas – the spa one especially! And single or not, its important to still continue to date yourself and do these types of activities. Well written!! xx, Karen // Glam Karen

    • 8

      says

      Thanks Karen! Oooh…Sex and the City…love that show (and that’s always a great me-date!). And yes…everyone needs to take time for themselves from time to time and not feel guilty about it!! I love to even do that on trips when I’m traveling with someone…separate for an afternoon and each do your own thing and you come back refreshed, recharged, and excited to share each other’s adventures with each other!

  4. 9

    says

    I’ve been forced to spend quite a bit of time alone the last few months (finding friends in a new city is tough!) but I love treating myself a little with a coffee and wandering downtown and shopping every so often. Learning to be alone is such an important and recharging skill! Thanks Vicky!

    • 10

      says

      Yes! Finding friends as an adult is definitely challenging!! I moved to another part of the country after I graduated from college and didn’t know a single soul, so I completely understand :). But once you do start making a few close friends, they become your family and it’s such a different dynamic than when your family is nearby. I love your date of coffee and wandering around…that sounds like a perfect afternoon to me! (and now I want to head into the city and do just that! :)).

  5. 11

    says

    I love ‘me’ dates! I usually keep it really simple with coffee, a walk in the park, a little solo shopping trip but sometimes I do go to a class or a museum for the afternoon. I’m coupled up but my husband and most of my friends work odd hours so I had to learn how to be alone and enjoy that time to myself. Now I can’t live without it. Thanks for the reminder!

    • 12

      says

      That sounds like a perfect ‘me’ date, Miranda!! I’m feeling the itch, now that the weather is nice, to some something exactly like that! There’s a cute little town next to mine that has an adorable main street and when I was last there a couple of months ago, it was still too chilly to enjoy walking around, but now, it should be perfect, so adding that to my list to try to do this weekend! Enjoy your me-dates!!

  6. 13

    says

    I love being married, but sometimes I get excited when Dave goes on a business trip so I can have a night for myself :) This usually includes ordering sushi, binge-watching Netflix, and some sort of super unhealthy dessert! :)

    • 14

      says

      Lol…that’s awesome Erin! I love that you enjoy that time for yourself…I’ve heard of some people that get upset when their spouse goes out of town, not because they’ll miss them (that’s understandable!) but because they don’t know what to do with themselves. When I was with my ex, I always got excited too when I’d have that extra bit of me time!! A Netflix, sushi, and an unhealthy dessert is one of my preferred Friday night me-dates (which I may or may not be doing tomorrow night to catch up on some OITNB!!) ;).

  7. 15

    Jazmine says

    I love this!! I am single. I’ve recently been going on dates with different people. However as you stated there’s nothing wrong with dating yourself even if you’re already dating someone. I currently do some of the things mentioned but there are a few on here I’d love to try. Thank you for sharing all these amazing ideas. :)

    • 16

      says

      Thanks Jazmine!! So glad you found a few other ideas here to try :)…at least when going out with yourself you don’t have to worry if you’ll hear from you again after the date ;). Have fun on both kinds of dates – those with others and with yourself!! :)

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